My life's story in English

My life and 11 of September

By: Suhail Ahmed Bahgat,

 Chapter I ** ****** ***************

This would be not similar the lives of people's lives natural, because I am not from the people who truly wrote about their adventures and travels. This is not the biography of a man of political relations with the big political events, and coups, wars and invasions, but rather a man paralyzed and prisoners between four walls. Although this prison, which left him in a rare, but not allowed to these walls that stand between him and found and give his opinion in politics, religion and culture. I was born in the year 1972 in Mosul city, "Nineveh" in northern Iraq, and the city is known historical and mentioned in the Old Testament and is now to contain the effects of ex-Assyrians who founded the great empire between 1000 and 610 BC also contain the effects of the age of the Mamelukes "medieval Islamic Central. I do not know whether it is unfortunate or fortunately, I discovered, over time, I suffer from severe disability and do not have a true natural objects like people and human beings, I also discovered the center of the community is extremely complex, on traditions and religious rites and national standards and a strange and alien to assess rights and social status, scientific, and discovered the worst : and is that I lived in Iraq, "the Baath Party" and "Saddam Hussein" and is the era like the use of "time machine" live in the midst of the darkness and atmosphere eras where the strong eat the weak at the end of the 20th century, where the civilized world has come a long way in the human culture and enact laws that change sometimes faster development of techniques. I was the eldest son of the family; my father was a teacher married to the daughter of his uncle, "my mother" and is a housewife who was forced to leave the school to devote her self for home and her son. I was lucky that despite the difficulties that surround me. It was my mother and father did not fail in my auspices and realized the magnitude of the responsibility on them, not because they have been parents for a child, but because this child disabled and paralyzed, it is frightening to them that they feared that the mental handicap caused by a physical disability to. My father was a talented person and loving art of painting, drawing mine, "Bamarni" where he lived seriously and this region has always been happening in the northern region, where the Kurds live, I witnessing violent confrontations with automatic weapons and guns, and once witnessed one of those battles during our visit to the house, which was seriously have rebuilt the house, which was destroyed by the government, and unfortunately, the fate of this house that after years of decay, and Kurdish fighters were shelling the Mount is located in front of a small house across a serious control on the Mount higher in the fall compared to the other side of the house. I was watching the Red chains of bullets flying between the mountains. As a child, I did not realize the dangers of watching a battle on the roof of the house, but I was lucky not hurt or something and I came out of that experience and his Despite these confrontations have lost and I with my father have enjoy and fun to watch the village landscape. And this was happening in Kurdish villages surrounded by mountains and landscapes and tables freshwater cold even at the height of summer, warm. I was seeing my father was tricolor oil paints and had full astonishment and admiration, asked him eagerly and urgently child-loving poll tricolor oil sketch, the curve the opportunity, but when I felt that I do not have physical strength and if using brushes, especially those that chart colors require a lot of physical force, I felt outraged and saddened at the same time, my father did not allow despair to creep into my heart, he bought cards and colored pens and said to me : fee tried this and were confident you will succeed. I was happy because I discovered that I have a little power can be grabbed the paper and pen. I was initially impressed by drawing the horse. Then I went paint cats and dogs and human beings, and what am saddened that some of our relatives blamed me because of draw living things looks like human, animals and saying to me : God will pot you in hill "Jahannam" because you draw living things. Of course my parents not allowed of those religious "Sunni" to enter traditional despair and fear to my heart and encouraged me to continue without interruption, I had to wait a full year and then I was in the seventh discovered so my father and his brothers, since everyone with their wives and children who were living with us in an old house and large, they discovered I bring in a large internal talent, but that one of my father's friends and decided to publish my own with a painting of mine and wrote me a title ((talent in need of care))! And of course we didn't get any kind of response. But my mother was not convinced that the hobby in the painting enough, but insisted on, and I am obstinate child, to learn reading and writing, was repeated to say: The talent fee is not anything compared to reading and writing and that you should examine your head before you grow.. You must learn before your adult age... "And that was the biggest and the greatest wisdom I have received in my life. This is of course difficult in a backward nation such as Iraq be governed by a tyrant Saddam and his terrorist party, it was almost impossible to go to school, especially since the government had appointed my father in a village far from the city to punish him for lack of involvement in the Baath Party, therefore, my mother had to devote itself to my auspices in the House, and after the verbal tussles between me and my mother. I went on to write the dictates of the document and my father turn to give me gifts whenever I succeeded in the performance of my duties, and over time, I found myself surrounded brotherhood I joined our hard. And what she has perfected the reading and writing until I went to ask my father bought me stories of children, and that drove me was the love and pride also found that adults read the books paragraphs of a book in four volumes historically huge. His history with its wars and the suffering and pain oppressed and realized in a short period that Saddam is not the first and not another tyrant in history, and that was the most cruel and destructive and devastating sadness, and what annoyed me more is that the list of "banned books" greater than those allowed to read, and I had to the book is deposited four volumes, which had been borrowing my father evacuated from the school, the authorities decided to withdraw it and burning it add to the list of "banned" and it was the beginning of my angry and madness towards hateful dictatorship. Iraq was then witnessing the beginning of control" of the Baath Party " or "the age of darkness".

Iraq is one of the most complicated country in the Middle East, if not in world since modern posed in 1920 and is living complex is unnatural. It is seriously regimes differ in denominational affiliation from predominantly Shiite, after the tragic end of the rule of Imam Ali the Tragedy of Imam Hussein in Karbala. Iraq ruled by Amavites & Abbasids, Ottoman, then happened after entering the British armies to Iraq to the Shiite majority committed the biggest mistake in history when they entered into a confrontation with what called by Iraqis "the British occupation" while engaged Sunni minority, which it had lost big privileges at the fall of the Ottoman Empire, in power marginalized the Shiite majority & Shiite responded to the marginalization of more reclusion. This led to the creation of a democratic, distorted and perverted, so the minority Sunni find for itself excuses to make more power, but relatively Iraq was a democracy state from 1920 to 1958 when the group of military coup overthrew the monarchy and repeated tragedy similar tragedy of Imam Hussein, killing the young king, "Faisal 2" with a number of members of the royal family in a offensive, welcomed by communists and nationalists ((Arabs & Kurds)), this coup, which they called the "revolution" Typically in the description of each coup, but the arrival of a military commander and national such as "Abdul-Karim Qassem," not satisfaction of Arab nationalism or Kurdish Both sides were anxious to raise and stirring nationalist feelings more and more. While the Shiite Jurist "Marji'iya & Hawza – Islamic schools", wallow in isolation and the illusion of the "Islamic unity" and other myths that stand no chance of application. The republican system, which came via a military coup has opened the door to nationalist and communist forces to compete for power and control, erupted in a number of Iraqi cities as "Mosul" and "Kirkuk" violent conflicts and atrocities between these powers since violence reached a degree of ugliness that bodies human suspended naked in shops selling meat, the cities "Sunni" are break-ins at the homes of the rich and occupants are being slaughtered in the streets after they peeled, and reads the history of the "Sunni Islam" not surprised by this brutal culture, which now operates the same crimes, and the authorities or some of the powerful also have a role in raising such hatred and massacres, the Iraqi president, "Abdul-Karim Qassem," at the beginning of his presidency to a failed assassination attempt by a group of "Baath party" the former Iraqi President "Saddam" was between of them, then in the year 1963 succeeded, "the Baath Party" in a coup led to the trial Abdel-Karim Qassem trial a "sham" were closer to a farce of the court. But a group of nationalists who were deduced from the "Baath party" did what resembles counter coup and installed "Abdul-Salam Aref," and is one of the Sunni Arab minority as a president, the President Aref died in a plane crash helicopter private, after that his brother, "Abdel - Rahman Aref "replace hem in presidency. Baathists removed hem by clean coup, formed the return of the Baathists to the rule in 1967. This was the beginning of a long period of wars and agony. The system of "Baath" starts to make narrow freedom of the press and freedom of expression, to control the media and the press and everything to believe in one opinion, the theory of the "Nationalist Baath". Everything, as has been the cancellation of all concepts of human rights and individual, and even affiliation "Iraqi nationality" to believe in "Arabism" or a racial theory, in the sense that this party was seeks to rule all of the Gulf Arab states and even North Africa, of course there was also the ruling Baath Party in Syria, and was in disagreement with the "Iraqi Baath" not because of deference programs or ideological, but in the sharing of the spoils. In this period the Iraqi Shiites start awareness and their political and confrontation with the ruling regime, and did not fall short of the regime in the suppression of the Shiite organizations to the extent that the pen is unable to describe the enormity of the crimes committed by the regime. Near Iraq Shiite political thought was moving towards extremism in Iran. " 12 "and it's clear, very complex such as Iraq, moving in this direction is bound to be doomed to a bleak and unstable, and has barely resolved until the end of 1970s there were two types of extremism governs the two neighboring countries, which governs Iraq, the Arab Socialist Baath Party and Arab nationalism insured content of the Sunni and Iran as the revolution overthrew "King – Shah in Persian language" and overthrew him with secularists to replace a group of fanatics jurisprudents, and thus the region prepared for the eruption, and it's true. By the 1980s started the Iran-Iraq war, which take the lives of the victim and intolerance Staff hundreds of thousands of dead, hundreds of billions of dollars and coinciding with this situation, our life moves from bad to worse, and took the purchasing value of the Iraqi Dinar "currency landing, after the value of one Dinar, when the Baath takeover of power, equivalent to three-and-a-half dollars, and the home , where we inhabit, the property of another person we pay for hem monthly, but the owner was not covetous like those which we see now in many houses owners. Chapter 3 In those years I was filled with suffering and fear. Live in a state of unbridled impulsiveness and the desire to research and study, did not leave a book or encyclopedia, or search in various areas, and without that read very carefully, what I like in the very beginning was "history" as found the additional life, behind the monotonous life of tedious, because we can not talk only with great caution and fear that come out of our Mouths words may end us on execution. Is enough to be skeptical by the Saddam's regime or someone in Baath security elements writing a "report" concludes the end of the full family? The television itself was a manufactured depression in the full sense of the word, there were only two TV channels, and both of them belong to the regime. We were watch only tyrant "Saddam" in one of his tours or concerts reception, or broadcast documentary films from the war fronts with the Iranians. Of course, these films focus only on propaganda and victories for the Iraqi army and often show gruesome images of dead bodies. And what was more wearing me that my father has apologized for the purchase books for me, saying: I am sorry, either you bought clothes and food, either you bought books and remains hungry. I decided not to ask him to buy me any books, from now on, I do a good amount of books. My mother advised me to read it again. But I got a better idea I persuaded my brother to take my books, sold it at the corner of the street or on the sidewalk, I was so tired also, I sometimes spent long hours in the summer and warm of Iraq to be able to sell a book or two books, but what I was delighted because I able to buy some new books and that to me really. But in the following years of recession market books, as I am, unfortunately, remained gave looked and signs on the shelves of libraries full of all that is delicious and good historical research and philosophical studies and if not, the Internet, which used the first time in 2000 eased a little to me now left to suffer today. Once I met a person, did not know that he would become dearest friends later, I will call him "Mr. G". Because he may suffer from the danger if his name mentioned here. I have this friend opened the door wide and up to the world the novel the story and scenario playwright, and has hesitate to visit us and fills the hours of my tedious life to be interesting, and when closer trust us, we exchanged wishes of solutions that day, which falls when the Baath dictatorship offender, and, notably allowing me to borrow some of the books which I even not dreamed to read it. In that period, which I sell books, I was lucky because I met another friend I will call him "Mr. M", as this wonderful friend was amazing in himself he was like an encyclopedia integrated, the wonderful personality that he said to me that the library the huge contents, which amounted to almost 5000 book, at my disposal, then I felt that this wonderful friend had an impact on the happenings of my life. The both friends "G" and "M" the possessors of great credit, I get from the first one "Literature's love" & from the other I get "Philosophy passionate", and possibly bring I jailed for between four walls, the opportunity to research psychological and mental available to me mental illusions. The books, and still, a global private wonderful and exciting talent for reading allowed me the opportunity to get acquainted with the thousands of dignitaries, I see them crowded in front of me, they were carried from the dead, characters n each kinds, philosophers and prophets and sages and kings and tycoons, executioners and innovators, and I had thoughts with their lives and I were live among them moment by moment, day by day. Sumerians lived "sons of the south of Iraq" and are setting up the first civilization in history, I was lived days of Abraham, the father of the prophets, faith and published under the rule of "Nimrud" I saw the battle of the "Silamis" and I saw the armies of Persia and Greek and is scrambling amid Neighing horses and the hum of arrows and clashes of waves of the sea. I was with Alexander the Great when he a cross "Anatolia" and signed violent battles between him and ended with the establishment of the Greek empire. I experienced the great philosophers, Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Archimedes and Anaxagoras, Avicenna, Averroes, Thomas Aquinas, Descartes, Hegel, Karl Marx, Sartre, Colin Wilson & Stephen Hawking. I will not forget of course the great School "Orientalism", wonderful these Western institutions studied the Islamic east, all aspects of cultural, religious, social and political. I study methodology to examine the clerics at the mosque, but, after attending for more than twenty lesson, I felt that I do not belong to this environment based on traditional culture and tradition of the past and to maximize the parents and grandparents, in spite of the limited because of the prevention of many books by the Saddam government, but I came out of a culture of darkness, blindness & traditional to where the mind and logic. In spite of all Agnostic philosophers, from Al-Ghazali, "died in 1111" and passing Tomas Aquinas, which came shortly thereafter, and Hume end. But I keep the mind is directed the Mankind. Although sometimes interrupted by the desires and needs, keeping the mind and self-love, is axis of civilization. That the Iraqi society in this period lived more negative impacts and the gap is widening between the three basic components are the power and the cultured and community with majority of the nomadic nature of coarse. That implementation of democracy is possible in Iraq. But there is a need to provide inter political and environmental conditions will be mentioned in next. I ask myself that question, which was raised by the intellectuals and the real is what the feasibility of reading and writing and study whether the culture is changing in the arms of a double-edged sword, either to promote and say whatever you reason and reality and love change?! Or become opportunists or promoters of a culture of power, and I myself spurned most contempt for the mere thought, get benefits from the tyrant, and actually finished more than an opportunity to trade on and the people who influence and the power use my gifts for the government and they promised me I will be meeting with Mr. President "tyrant" personally. But I refused to categorically and without much hesitation, but I do not know that I will be forced for another nationalist party and another for a very compelling circumstances. And I think on those mercenaries "pseudo-intellectuals" riding luxury cars and have better houses, but I remember Jesus Christ's words: What makes a profit if the mankind get the entire globe but he lost him self. That argument right description and wisdom excellent. The Iraqis was lived under many crisis, addition the fear of power crisis, the market is witnessing increasing cost and the Iraqi Dinar miserable lurching result of the policies of the Baath. The battles rage between Iraq and Iran from 1980 until 1988, and Saddam's regime was neglecting the number of dead and victims and losses. The important thing for the regime was continued reign & stay in power and to act as owned the country and particularly for the Sunni minority special "the city of Tikrit where the tyrant and his gang". Iraq was suffering from another phenomenon, the Iraqis should not forget, never, while hundreds of thousands of young Iraqis are facing the death or turning to the disabled and paralyzed in battlefield, the dregs of hundreds of thousands of Arabs, "Egyptians, Jordanians, Libyans, Sudanese, & Palestinians" living in the country and remit millions of dollars to their countries. And just about war Term, which they have heard from many terrible stories, Saddam the tyrant find Iraq, a country which possesses the second largest oil reserves in the world and owns two rivers that addition enormous wealth, fertile agricultural, tourism, metals and minds genius. Iraq become a poor country, people live with the crime culture and disfigured. Iraqi people became a more than a nation, Arabs, Kurds, Turkmen, Shiite, Sunni, & Kuldo Assyrians. During the past 1988 and stayed until 1990 Saddam's regime was published the claims regarding the construction adoption of a new constitution, and to reform what has been demolished, and what exposed the regime before the eyes of the Iraqis, they are a famous people who doubted and mutter of country rulers since the Beginning of Islam, is since about the seventh century. That Iraq has accepted the conditions of the ceasefire with the Iranians had waived its territory the claim by the spurious argument that the war was a start. The Gulf countries "a group of kingdoms & emirates" looked at Iraq, the previous ally, in doubt and fear, Iran and the State of extremist organizations supporting terrorism, which went to war in Iraq claiming that Iraq is fighting the Iranian regime religious behalf of United States and the Western. This is the same Iranian regime that was the reason for keeping the Baath in power, and even engaged with Saddam in an undeclared alliance, thus clergymen proved they are more "Micaville" from the secularists who the clergymen condemned for decades. In same time, Saddam's regime had not find a solution to maintain control of the Iraqis but will remain in war again and defy the Western camp of the Democratic imagining that the intimate relationship with the (USSR) Soviet Communist regime, together with the identification and protect him. Iraq occupied the State of Kuwait in the second of August 1990, after a representative "farce" claimed that the officers Kuwaitis who staged a coup against Prince & they ask from Iraq to help them, and my father had expect the previous night Iraq storm Kuwait that for so ironic: Saddam a tyrant and crazy possible to do everything .. He will occupy Kuwait..! " And it is, which surprised me and surprised all of the Iraqis, that will remain in Iraq, Kuwait, and the seven months following the truly frightening, as everybody talks about the fact that Iraq would be subjected to a nuclear war, especially the television began broadcasting programs about the risks of exposure the nuclear strike, but, over the course of many months, has some doubts that it is possible that Iraq had been threatened by western coalition, points of the conspiracy theory "plot theory" and that Saddam is "an American agent" or "the Israeli Intelligence". which possesses the powers of the gods had recruited Saddam to become a president" and I think that the intelligence agents and government supporters, "the Baath Party" who promoted such ideas, with the knowledge that such a system would strengthen and weaken prospects for the fall.  At that time when I encourage my family to prepare for the flight to the village, "where lives my grand parents". Village's name was Qadeesh. Some of our relatives laughing, and saying: May seem that the war will really?! Nothing will happen from this, "and the comic aunt says: Don't bothered yourselves, there will be no war because western agree with Saddam and Iraq will not beaten, "it is clear they turmoil" and when she approached the hour of decision in mid-January 1991 warning last date of the coalition against Iraq, we moved to the village, I will not forget that period, Saddam's regime "Ba'ath party" forcing my father to work as a guard for some of the buildings throughout the war, so we were worry about him, and as the storm Saddam's invasion, my younger brother "Mohammed" has opened his eyes to life, and to live a same tragedy of me, since he was disabled, paralyzed and talented later. I remember that began in the "coalition" attack on Iraq after Saddam refused to get out of Kuwait, while I 'm between sleep and wake, I heard Grandfather tells everyone that he has heard from the radio that coalition aircraft began the attack on the Iraqi capital "Baghdad" in two of the night. I was disagree others, my mother, uncles, & cousins, because I was think the war will be short, only a few weeks, and already had one month ensured the elimination of the army of Saddam. We hear the hum of the aircraft at night and day. Sometimes we hear the sound of the Iraqi anti-aircraft guns fired on the planes were flying at very high altitudes, tried in vain to topple, it was the month for me like a year long. Atmosphere was very cold, despite the heater of wood, which my grandfather was keen on keep fire to heat me with my brother. Now I miss him so much because he goes to heaven. Despite the heater was flaming we were feel that the atmosphere really cold. During the week we heard the radio news reports about a decline in the Iraqi army, he was on the verge of collapse, the GAM the inhabitants in the village gather to exchange stories about the future: Is Saddam and his regime will fail?! What is the appropriate punishment for Saddam and his men?! And everyone has put forward a variety of proposals, it seems Saddam and his aides had gone & lose the power. Some have suggested using Chemical weapons for Saddam's crime when he kills people of Halabja by chemical weapons. Others suggested placed Saddam & his criminals in the dock and make people to spit on them, exchanged to the amount of money each spitting or slap or kick and, and of course, everyone was rejoicing and worry at the same time, while we were concerned about my father and my uncles who were under air strikes.

Chapter 4

We were don't knew that the regional and international developments will keep Saddam and his regime in power. Iran "Radical clergy regime which entered the grinding war against Saddam" will cause to maintain this regime. While the Shiites of Iraq deceived and still many of them. Of course, I was one of them. The defeat of Saddam in Kuwait was a real opportunity for Iraqis to be a free & build a democratic state. The first indication that we have heard of the Intifada "revolution" Iraqi tank in the far south fired a missile on large picture of the tyrant Saddam. A similar uprising occurred in the Kurdish north area. But they were less severe than the South, especially the Kurds sympathize with the terms of sectarian religious understanding for a largely Sunni found that many Baathists themselves between protecting people in the north at the Iraqi uprising but Saddam, "which considers itself a god will not forgive them. That happened meanwhile we were on our way back to Mosul, where we inhabit. We heard after the fact that Saddam's regime on the verge of collapse and that there are rumors that Saddam was about to escape. Iran betrayed Shiites and paid some of the Shiites that shouting against America and Israel. This actions, & another reasons, raised fears that the West coalition Changing resolution at the last minute as the United States decided that the Iraqi revolution is an "internal affair". After that there was much of kill & bloodshed in the north and the south. But the Kurds, fortunately, managed them to flee to the high mountains and thus turned the world into their escape collective. The people of the south have fallen victim to Iranian policy follies and failures of their leaderships. The period was truly alarming, it was our concern for our relatives who fled to the mountains, the government arrested Kurds in Mosul and throwing them in jail, some from our relatives run away to our house. There were more than ten youths worried and scared do not know what fate awaits them. Either my father has a bold plan, while the Kurds hiding here and there to escape from the totals security, which has been roaming the streets in search of homes and overtaking those who detained. My father go to visit coffee shops or as Iraqis call its Tea shops "Chaykhana" & by this way he be saved. My uncles decided to run away to the north to the Turkish border and refugee camp where people lived in darkest and most difficult times. That was really filled with grief years and tragedies. In the months following Iraq witnessed massacres and crimes in the terrible days crush a popular uprising. Mosul witnessed heinous crimes the killing of even small children, and we are aware that the government "Saddam & Baath regime and their security agents are who perform such crimes in order to intimidate people. Finally, the Allies go to create a safe zone for the Kurds in the north, and throughout the year 1992 entered into a long discussion with my parents about the transition to this safe area, as there is no Baathists, and did not know then that this region will live under another ethnic dictatorship. Finally, after many difficulties we managed to escape to the northern region, and after We sold our furniture, household equipment and the lowest possible prices sold everything I own of books we purchased for us in the north only a barrel of oil sufficient for one month only of the long winter months. The northern region governed by the Kurdish parties, and does not deny that the region witnessed a short period of "democracy", but it seems that the period of democracy was only a readiness for the rule of dictatorship Kurdish & civil war. That increased circumstances to worse Also that increasing activity of Islamic extremism. In this times much of political groups visit our house to ask me join to them. It is natural that people in "isolated" from the world, it would be difficult for it to be aware of the nature and backward society based on the clan and tribal relations and highly complex between political organizations backward belong to this society. The Islamists and supporters of "Kurdish ethnic movements" hurried to visit our home and each and every one of them is trying convincing me for his part. Even that the governor of the city of Dohuk, "Abdul Aziz Tayyb" personally visited us with his armed protection a number of officials & journalists. And because I do not have television and even electricity, some people have told me they saw me on TV. The governor gives us some of help. But problems remained outstanding and unresolved, and I think they deliberately left us pending in the need to keep us seek after them. Either Islamists has raised indignation that I was continuous criticized them for they traditional culture. Although I also I was still in the phase shifts. I decided not would be a slave, so even when I opened more than an art exhibition for the ruling party, but they realized that I did so because my family was suffering from bad financial circumstances, where we barely get a meal hardly fill the hunger, and has a capacity of my political discovered that there no deference between dictators, whether the name "Saddam" or any other name. Those two things specializes in the past, has got something of liberty, and thanks, of course return to the United States and the Western alliance, which was behind the protection of this area, and I also would like to study and read books I did not even read in my dreams, But I in "emotional part" still suffering from the characteristics of a vacuum until now. We as eastern people "Muslims in particular" are lagging in this aspect, Love, friendship and marriage is something available for the wealthy and the rich only, and it is surprising that in the Middle demonstrate your desire of marriage that would raise laughter and ridicule. I have loved a girl in my life, and I will not deny it, but I long years ago, I gave up on romantic ideas, I no longer believe anything of this, as I became lost my feelings as humans slowly, I 'm now realize that there had been a harsh winter in my heart, it is alright, I will continue my way despite all the difficulties and despite the growing sense of aloneness and harm the road, especially when you faced a "dictatorship" and I knows about my society's myths & traditional. I discovered that the Kurdish society is "foul" exactly looks like the Iraqi society backward. That the community believes clan and tribal values and notions of "morality" and "honor" and "chastity" are just slogans hide ethic and of course, ugly and defend the false, extreme contradictions and inaccuracies even more sects "Islamic" extremism and intolerance, a religious extremist was find a place in this cruel and primitive society, and really broke civil war "Kurdish against Kurdish" lasted for years, and the ordinary citizen "poor" their payback suffering from deterioration of the situation and the loss of service. I remember that like many citizens. We spent years of suffering from the cold and hot atmosphere. I tried to spend my time on something useful and not leave dictatorship defeat me and don't let my life never go in vain. So I read ten volumes of "The History of AlTabari and is a big old book in the history of Islam.", "The Story of civilization By the great writer Will Durant", which is located in the 20th volumes, and also read seventeen volumes of the "Encyclopedia of Islamic knowledge" and is a wonderful book written by a large group of geniuses Orientalists. Also studied many books on "terrorism and violence in Islam" and how This terrorism is not a new phenomenon, but is deep in the "religious differences" and that the first person been "slaughtered", "genocide" with his family and his supporters is Hussein bin Ali, grandson of the Prophet Muhammad, and then we realized that we can not eliminate religion "terrorist" without supporting another standing deduced from it. The life that I live is not meaningful, because I found myself a prisoner, paralysis, community and power. I feel I am taking a loss of feelings, when life becomes pain is not constant and there is something that is happy or beautiful or reason for hope, take rights cold and melting in the "nothingness" and no presence, so that it is no longer my difference between "life or death", because life through not only the pain and deprivation, imprisonment and the poorest and fear and panic, while there are a few of people have enjoy life and get what they want. Traveled anywhere they want, everything belongs to them, and girls with beautiful homes, the lavish luxury cars and millions of dollars. Is the creation of a "Sohel" and "Mohammed" to deny everything?! Health, rich, study and be comfortable like every people. I think that the issue is not the subject "as God" and that God wanted us to be in this situation. But the issue is a purely humanitarian and has nothing to do with the sky or the greatness of God and all that is taking place from the injustice of man by man. Some day in the September 11, 2001, at the point after 5 p.m. local Iraq time, while I 'm reading through the television channels, I have to see the scene of surprised me. I wonder: What is this building, which was burning?! Written on the screen New York, the United States! Is this a movie?! Suddenly, we saw another plane fell Building II, and people in the place screaming & astonished like us We realized that the United States is under attack, really, before the Americans should not forget this heinous crime before anyone, and I still remember how the scene was the man who threw himself from the Building painful. I was angry & mentioned bad words about "Bin Laden" and his supporters. That crime has been reflected on all that is sordid, ugly and treachery. But this crime made the United States decides to change its policy and that there is a new enemy of civilization called "Islamic terrorist" based on hatred, death projects and ruin, but since the crime of "September 11" and the liberation of the United States and the Western alliance of Iraq and Afghanistan and I am optimistic that there is a beautiful future ahead despite I attained mid-30s. September 11 changes a lot of convictions, policies & curriculum. But it is rather "Armageddon" the last battle between good and evil. We are still living only the beginnings of this conflict, when it's over by victory, this will give every believer to announce the emergence of near sincere beliefs, Buddhists and" Buddha Redeemer", Jews, and" Messiah ", the Christians," Jesus Christ Nasserite Redeemer & savior" and Shiite Muslims , "Mahdi Almontazar & Christ" he will arise in the last era. I don't care what everybody calls him, but I believe.